Sunday, January 11, 2009
disiplin dan strict rules nearly torn me apart
aku tak tahu kenapa aku nakal sejak di bangku sekolah, mungkin aku kesepian dan menginginkan perhatian yang penuh dari kedua orang tuaku, memang sebagai seorang anak tunggal aku di berikan sepenuh perhatian tetapi kadang2 aku juga merasa sunyi mungkin kerana aku tak punya abang, kakak atau adik untuk bermesra. kadang2 aku akan menjadi nakal dan memberontak, adakah kerana aku inginkan perhatian penuh ataupun inginkan kelonggaran dari perhatian mereka? sejak kecil aku telah di ajar berdisiplin oleh ayah but it doesn't work like that..it doesn't work when parent's started to dicipline you with harsh words and to think they can controlled my manner with a belt is
not really a good way to do it. why? is it because they are the parent's , older people that we should respect and be scared of? don't get me the wrong way..i respect them and still am now...but because of the strict rules that dad made like i couldn't go out with friends, i can't stay on the phone for 15 minutes and that goes to my mom too coz he's worried about the bill's (better if he just throw the phone la..if he don't want to use it) i had to go back home straight at the exact time and if i am late he surely angry or probably closed the gate, sleeping at the kitchen or living room. it did happened to me before, and for these i feel like i wanted to just ran far away from him. still remember the night when i was around 11 or 12 , he was so totally angry with mom ..i couldn't remember about what...he started to yelled and throwing things at mom..so ofcoz i defended my mom by yelling at him too, that makes him even angrier...he started to throw some blanket, pillows etc to us and make us slept in the kitchen. i was so angry at that time.. and told mom that if he keep doing these i surely ranaway. guess mom told him about that and mom told me that he was abit scared by my threat. i don't really care what he thinks,
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